


Pink and Yellow Carnations

by BlackKittens



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 04:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18161204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackKittens/pseuds/BlackKittens
Summary: A shocking discovery in the basement leaves the Hamada brothers questioning their family tree.





	Pink and Yellow Carnations

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to finish chapter three of CitW today and do a oneshot after I finished editing it (I'm blocked on Rest, but I will finish it eventually!), but this took my hand and would not let go, so I guess we're doing this instead! CitW should be updated later this week, though.
> 
> Based on a prompt I found on the Tumblr blog BH6 AU Ideas:
> 
> "Anonymous: AU where Hiro and Tadashi are cousins. They could either come from different parents, or one of them is Aunt Cass's actual son.
> 
> They find out they’re not actually brothers when they find Aunt Cass’ diary one day while they’re cleaning out the attic. They find a picture inside of Aunt Cass holding a tiny baby with fluffy black hair, looking tired but happy, and there’s a bunch of entries in the diary about her pregnancy. Both boys are shocked.
> 
> But here’s the kicker. There’s no dates on the journal, and the last entry mentions that she gave the baby to her older sister to raise, because she wasn’t ready to be a parent. And the baby in the picture could be either of them. They have no idea which one of them is actually her son. And they’re not sure how to ask her.
> 
> (Either way, they still think of each other as brothers, even if it turns out that’s not quite accurate)
> 
> \- Baymod"
> 
> I did change a few things here and there, like it being the basement instead of the attic. I hope you enjoy!

Cleaning out the basement as punishment for accidentally setting off a rocket through the café had seemed like nothing to Hiro at first. Boohoo, they got to reorganize boxes on top of each other, how difficult; he and Tadashi would be done in less than a half hour and could get back to the garage, where they’d continue their argument on what went wrong with the rocket and how it clearly wasn’t Hiro’s fault, big brother! Except it had quickly turned out the basement was not as compact and organized as Hiro had thought.

“Since when do we have three Christmas trees!? And why are two of them in all these little pieces!?” Hiro exclaimed, holding two foot long, pine branches incredulously in his hands.

“Since Aunt Cass forgot the one year we already had a tree in storage and the other year she didn’t care and wanted a brand new one,” Tadashi answered as he sorted the branches into their appropriate boxes. “I can’t believe these fell apart. I always have to help her carry them up and downstairs, and I don’t remember these being in pieces last year. Wonder when the third tree will fall apart.”

Hiro glared at the intact, plastic pine in the corner next to them. He dared it to follow it in its friends’ footsteps.

He turned back to his older brother, dropping the branches in his hands unceremoniously into one box each. “Do you think we have to clean all the needles off the floor? Please tell me we don’t.”

Tadashi shrugged. “Aunt Cass did say she wanted the basement sparkling clean.”

Hiro groaned loudly.

“We’ll get the vacuum when we finish all the boxes,” Tadashi decided matter-of-factly. He tossed the last few branches in. He slapped his hands together to shake off the pine dust. “Hey, go move that one box off the Christmas lights. We’ll put them away next.”

“Why do I have to do it!?”

Tadashi glowered. “Because you’re the one who set off the rocket in the house.”

Hiro threw his head back with a whine. “It wasn’t my fault! Mochi tripped me!”

“Mochi was in the back of the café with Aunt Cass!”

“He is a sneaky, quick, fast on his feet cat!”

“Amazing how he lost all his fat, then, zoomed through the house to trip you before I could see him, and suddenly regained all his weight in the back,” Tadashi snorted. “Lights. Now.”

Hiro groaned again, forcing himself up with as much lazy energy as possible. The Christmas lights were tangled together a’strewn over a row of boxes and covered by one large one on top. “How is Aunt Cass this messy!? She spends every day off cleaning the _whole_ house and will kill us if we do anything to mess up The Lucky Cat, but this place is a disaster!”

“Yeah, it does look an awful lot like your side of the room down here,” Tadashi nodded in agreement, then cracked a toothy smile at Hiro’s glare. “What? I’m just saying, your messiness is probably genetic.”

“I double dare you to tell Aunt Cass that.”

“Sorry, I value my life.”

Hiro launched himself at Tadashi with a roar.

Tadashi laughed, catching Hiro by the wrists, spinning him around with his arms pulled behind his back, and battering him to his knees with his weight. “Aww, are you trying to tell me I should value my life when I tell _you_ your messiness is genetic? That’s cute, you forgot I can beat you up.”

Hiro struggled in his grasp, trying and failing to kick Tadashi in his position on his knees. “Shut up, you giant nerd! You couldn’t beat up a fly if you wanted to!”

Tadashi tsked, delighted. “Someone’s forgetting how much of a ‘giant’ I am compared to him. Not to mention our old martial arts classes, where I always kicked his butt. What’s the old score? Three hundred to zero?”

“Ha ha, funny!” Hiro spat. He squirmed. “Lemme go! AUNT CASS! TADASHI’S HURTING ME! Ow!”

Hiro landed painfully on his chin.

“You big baby,” Tadashi huffed, indignant.

He lifted himself off the floor, moaning and rubbing his jaw. “That actually did hurt, you jerk.”

“Let me see.”

Hiro scowled as he was manhandled back into his brother grasp, nose to nose with the jerk, who had the audacity to the lightly touch his chin and examine the skin. “Give it to me straight, Dr. Hamada, am I gonna die?”

Tadashi lidded his eyes in a flat look. “Yes. You have two days to live before I kill you.” He released Hiro gently this time. “You look fine. It might bruise, but you’ll be okay. Sorry I pushed you.”

Hiro’s face lit up. “If it turns purple, I finally have proof for Aunt Cass you hit me! You’ll be dead! God, I hope it bruises.”

Tadashi scoffed. “Masochist.”

“Secret sadist!” Hiro accused right back. “What are our friends, who all think you’re this special golden boy from Heaven above, gonna think when they find out you love abusing me!?”

“I do not abuse you and you started it.”

Hiro covered his face with his hands, mock crying. “H-Honey Lemon, it’s horrible! Ta-Ta-Tadashi right hooked me in the j-jaw because - because - I d-didn’t get the Chri-Christmas lights fast enough! Then he - he - told me he was g-going to - to kill me in my sleep in two d-days, and - ”

“If anything, Gogo will take it as permission that she can hit you now without facing my wrath,” Tadashi crossed his arms. “You know how many times she’s wanted to smack you?”

Hiro lowered his hands with a fierce glare. “You smack me all the time!”

“You’re my brother. You launch yourself at me looking for a fight. You used to bot-fight. You _still_ steal my stuff when I’m not looking. There’s a difference.” Tadashi uncrossed his arms and pointed at the box. “Lights, little brother, remember them? Or Aunt Cass will hang our ears over the mantelpiece like deer heads.”

Hiro’s hand flew to his right ear protectively. She would. “Fine! But this isn’t over!”

Tadashi rolled his eyes. “Of course it isn’t.”

Hiro scooted over to the row of boxes the lights were tangled on, and stood up. He lifted the box - only to realize it weighed _a ton_.

“Hey, Mr. Incredible!” He wheezed, spine curving backwards. “This is more your area than mine! Help me!”

Tadashi rose to his feet with another eye roll. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted your noodle arms - HIRO! Nice going, genius!”

Hiro stared at the mess of the box’s contents spilled out over his feet. He was glad he was wearing his sneakers. “I didn’t break the bottom open! You should have helped me!”

“I was going to,” Tadashi growled, frustrated. “Are you holding it upsidedown?”

Hiro dumped the box on the floor, kicking his feet out from under the mess, and opened the top flaps with ease. “See? No!”

Tadashi closed his eyes, exasperated, and opened them. “Let’s get this cleaned up. I can’t believe you.”

“HEY! It wasn’t my fault this time! It opened on its own!”

“So you admit the rocket was your fault?” Tadashi bent down on his knees, a sliver of a teasing smile on his face.

Hiro pouted silently. Jerk, Jerk, jerk.

He redirected his attention to the mess, picking up a stuffed mouse - likely Mochi’s old toy - whose belly had been torn open, the stuffing hanging out. He held it out to Tadashi. “Paging Dr. Hamada, the patient’s intestines are falling out!”

Tadashi wrinkled his nose. “Stop calling me Dr. Hamada.”

Hiro tossed the mouse aside in favor of picking up a tattered scarf. “You built a nurse bot with over ten thousand medical procedures. I think you’re qualified to be a doctor now.”

He scoffed. “Tell that to the hospital you send my application to. Man, was this Aunt Cass’ junk box? Look at this stuff! Old cat toys, old clothes that should have been thrown out, dry pens - hey, these are my old race cars! I thought I lost these years ago!”

Hiro curled his lips at the tiny hunks of painted metal Tadashi rushed to collect. “I don’t remember those.”

“You always tried to put them in your mouth,” he explained. “Aunt Cass must have taken them away so you wouldn’t choke.”

“Oh. So I was little the last time you had them.”

“Yup.” Tadashi nodded. “I’m keeping these. They’re going in my room. Don’t try to eat them again.”

Now it was Hiro’s turn to roll his eyes. “Darn. There goes my dreams of being a transformer.”

“You’d be a Decepticon and you know it.” Tadashi shoved a total of six cars in pants pocket. “Seriously, this had to be the junk box. There’s dirty shoes in here!”

Hiro pushed aside one of said shoes, noting the size and Lightning McQueen pattern. He’d never seen these shoes in his life. “I guess someone outgrew them and someone else forgot they were going to be hand-me-downs. Huh.”

Tadashi cocked his head in acknowledgement. “Good point. Could be.”

Hiro tossed an empty play dough container. “Maybe it was a trash box instead of the junk box and she just forgot to make you put it on the curb.”

He grunted. “You know, now that you mention it, I’m starting to realize why I have some muscle on my bones and you’re a mop-haired noodle.”

Hiro laughed. “Nah, it’s because you take after Dad and I take after Mom.”

“Mom didn’t have mop hair.”

“You know what I mean, you jerk.”

A streak of white caught Hiro’s eye. He looked down at a part of the pile, and noticed a photo hanging half out of a pink notebook’s pages. He could see Aunt Cass’ face, and behind her, the head of a hospital bed. Furrowing his brow, Hiro grabbed the notebook and took the picture out.

“What’chya got there?” Tadashi asked.

Hiro’s eyes widened. “Come see this!”

Tadashi ducked around the pile to Hiro’s side. His mouth dropped open at the sight of the full picture. “Whoa! _What?”_

Their aunt was lying in the hospital bed, tired, sheened with sweat, and hair greasy. She had a bright smile on her face, though, and she directed that smile at the blue blanketed bundle in her arms, it’s tight, red face peeking out. Thick black hair poked out of its blue cap, and brown irises peered back up at their aunt.

“Aunt Cass had a kid!” Hiro exclaimed. “When did this happen!?”

Tadashi snatched the picture. “I don’t know,” he admitted, eyes glued to it. “She looks so exhausted. She’s definitely younger in this, but I don’t know how much. I don’t remember her ever being pregnant either; think it happened before I was born?”

Hiro was astonished. “We have a cousin somewhere out in the world! Why didn’t she ever tell us!?”

Tadashi frowned deeply. “She does say a lot that she never wanted, or expected, to be a parent. She must have given it up for adoption, and I guess, never told us.”

Hiro shook his head. “But she’s so happy in the photo! And she kept this!”

“In the junk box with Mochi’s broken toys and my old sneakers and cars in the basement,” he argued. “We can’t tell her we found this. She must have kept it to herself for a reason. God, this is so weird.”

Hiro nudged him with his shoulder. “Do you think Mom and Dad knew?”

“Probably,” he admitted. “I doubt she hid it from them. I mean, her and Mom were thick as thieves.”

Hiro raised the notebook to his face. “It was in here. I wonder if she wrote about the baby.”

Tadashi shot him a sharp glare. “That’s an invasion of privacy, Hiro.”

“We don’t have to tell her! I wanna know about my cousin!” He opened to the first page of the notebook before Tadashi could stop him. “It’s definitely a journal. See!?”

He held open the notebook close to Tadashi’s face so he was forced to look at the words.

Tadashi jerked his head back. “Hiro…”

He grinned at the thread of curiosity in his older brother’s voice. “No one else will ever know. Not Aunt Cass, not the rest of the nerd gang, no one. It can be a secret between us.”

He sighed. “Hiro, I swear…” His eyes hardened at him over the top of the notebook. “This is it. We’re not gonna go searching for our mystery cousin, all right?”

“Deal,” Hiro agreed, and meant it.

Tadashi took the notebook and placed it between them on each of their knees. “Okay, first page. This is definitely Aunt Cass’ handwriting. There’s no date at the top of the page.”

“Not everyone’s a big nerd like you,” Hiro reminded him.

Their eyes fell on the passage.

_Pregnant. I’m pregnant. How did this happen!? I took a plan b pill the morning after, this wasn’t supposed to happen! I know there’s always the slightest chance birth control won’t work, but the sooner you take it, the more likely it’s SUPPOSED to work!_

_I can’t be pregnant. I don’t want kids. I love kids, but I’m not a mom. I don’t want to be a mom. I’d rather be an old cat lady! I’m already halfway there with The Lucky Cat Café! Old cat ladies aren’t moms!_

_This is insane. It can’t be real. It has to be a fluke. A false positive. I’m stressed and worried and that explains my missing periods. It’s a mistake._

_I have to talk to Danielle._

Hiro wrinkled his nose. “Ew, periods.”

“Grow up,” Tadashi admonished. “I told you she didn’t want kids. Our cousin was an accident.”

Hiro shrugged. “Who’s Danielle?”

“Mom. Mom’s name was Danielle and Dad was named Ken,” he answered. “Maybe Mom was pregnant with me at the time, or I was a baby when this happened. It would make sense if she wanted another mom’s help.”

“Or they were sisters who were thick as thieves and talked about everything under the sun,” Hiro suggested dryly. “Do you think our cousin’s around your age?”

“They might be,” he replied. “I don’t know. This wasn’t recent, or else we would have known about it. She mentions Mom, so this had to have happened before she and Dad died. I don’t remember anything about a cousin, so, either they hid really well from me, I was too little to remember, or it was before I was born. Hard to tell without a date.”

“There has to be more entries. They have to have more information.” Hiro flipped the page. “Here’s more!”

_I decided against an abortion. It’s too invasive and I’m not sure I want to go down that route. I might have to close the café for a little bit after the birth to recover, but I have enough savings to cover a couple extra days off in one work week. It’ll be like a mini vacation! A sore, exhausted, probably-won’t-be-able-to-move-around-much vacation, but a vacation all the same!_

_What’s non-negotiable is the fact I am not keeping it. I don’t want to be a mom, and even if I did, I don’t have the time to run a café by myself and take care of a baby. Even if I hired employees - which will never happen, I am a one woman show - I don’t want to be upstairs changing diapers while strangers take care of my café. This is my dream, and my ONLY baby! It’ll be better off with literally anyone else as a parent than me._

_Well, literally anyone who will love and take care of it. I’m not going to hand it off to a psycho in the street that will sell it to human traffickers in Good Luck Alley. I’d keep it before I did that!_

_But no, I’m not keeping it. I’ll find it another home. Or an adoption agency will. The state? I’d rather know it has a home for sure than wonder if it’s jumping from house to house in foster care. I’ll figure it out._

_Danielle’s been my backbone through this. God, I’m never having sex again._

Hiro’s hands flew to his eyes. “EW, BAD MENTAL IMAGES!”

Tadashi shook his head. “Well, I don’t think she accidentally got pregnant through artificial insemination.”

Hiro pounded on his arm. “Don’t talk about Aunt Cass and artificial i-la-la-LAH in the same sentence! Gross. Mental. Images!”

Tadashi turned the page. “Okay, okay. I don’t really want to think about it either.”

_Morning sickness is terrible. Awful. And not confined to the morning! This is a horrible start and I hate it already._

_Ken dropped by this afternoon to help out in the kitchen. He got to witness me vomit on one of my counters. How fun. Nothing like having your brother-in-law watch you yak on your business’ kitchen counters out of nowhere because the fetus in your stomach hates you, I guess. What’s even the point of morning sickness!? Is my stomach getting rid of the bile make room for the baby!? Ugh. At least Ken was nice about it. He took me to the bathroom, stayed with me, and did the gross job of cleaning up the vomit while I layed down. Danielle found a winner!_

_I hate everything about this and writing about puke is not making me feel better._

“So Mom and Dad were married by the time this happened,” Tadashi confirmed.

“How long were they married before they had you?” Hiro asked.

“About a year,” he said. “So either Mom and Aunt Cass were pregnant around the same time or I’m a little older than our cousin. We’re probably about the same age, give or take a few years.”

“Can you imagine if we had grown up with our cousin?” Hiro offered. “You guys probably would have been best friends. I’d have to have fought for your attention, big brother. We’d probably share a room with them upstairs!”

“We’d probably have equal shares of the room instead of you taking up seventy to eighty percent of it,” Tadashi said in mock awe.

“You gave me that much room!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he scoffed. “You have to admit, it’d be weird to have grown up with this cousin. I can’t even imagine having another sibling, let alone - Aunt Cass a kid! It’s strange to think about.”

Hiro grabbed the page. “What else is here?”

_God, I’m having mixed emotions._

_I’m having a boy. The ultrasound said so. I can feel him hiccuping in me. He kicks me. I feel him rolling around to get comfortable. Most of the time he’s sweet and quiet, and then he jabs me in the ribs. I read on the internet fetuses and newborn babies love their mother’s heartbeat. I don’t know if that’s true, but I read it._

_He’s sitting in me right now. I can feel him. His head’s on my right side. He kicked my left hip a little while ago. I think he’s sleeping. Is he listening to my heart beat?_

_I don’t want to get too attached. I can’t raise him. I refuse to think of names because it’s not up to me. The lawyers have everything drawn up, all that’s left is the birth, my signature, and for the revocation period to end. But I’m terrified at some point, whether it’s before the birth or on the last day of the revocation period, I’ll change my mind and decide to keep him._

_I think I do love him. I can’t raise him, though. Unless something massive happens to make me take him back, I can’t. I can’t just because I’m getting attached. I’m not meant to be a mother. I think I love him, but I don’t think I can love or care for him the way he deserves._

_It’s not like I’ll be out of his life. This is basically an open adoption. I’ll still get to see him, I’ll know how he’s doing, this isn’t goodbye forever. That makes me feel better. But what if in a moment of - I don’t even know! - I make the wrong decision and keep him?_

_I can’t do it. I have to keep reminding myself I can’t._

_This is for the best. This is for my best, and his best._

_When the time comes, I can’t revoke my consent. I have to let the revocation period pass. Then I’ll have no choice anymore, no matter what I feel._

_I know in my heart this is the right thing. I’m just a mess of emotions right now._

_He’s hiccuping._

Hiro blinked. “That’s...that’s heavy.”

“Yeah,” Tadashi gave the notebook a sad expression. “She felt terrible. She felt terrible, but she also knew she was doing the right thing. I can’t imagine being in her shoes. It must have been hard.”

Hiro nodded. He pulled his knees us, letting Tadashi place the notebook fully in his lap. “Well, we know she never revoked consent. If it was an open adoption, do you think she’s still in contact with him? Why couldn’t she tell us about that?”

Tadashi shook his head with a shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t see him often. If he’s around my age, he’s probably an adult; what if he doesn’t want her visiting him anymore?”

“We still would have heard about him growing up, wouldn’t we?”

“Not necessarily. And the fact remains, we didn’t.” Tadashi frowned. “I wonder when she saw him. Maybe she doesn’t anymore because of us? Maybe he got angry that his own mother wouldn’t keep him but she’d take in her two nephews to raise. So he doesn’t let her see him anymore. That’s purely speculation, though. For all I know, she secretly talks to him on the phone at night, even now. I really don’t know, Hiro.”

Hiro wrapped his arms around his legs and placed his chin on them. “How come Aunt Cass doesn’t think she’d be a good enough mom? Honestly, I don’t remember our Mom, and Aunt Cass…” he trailed off.

He wasn’t sure how Tadashi, who adored and missed their parents every day, would react if he admitted Aunt Cass was the only mom figure Hiro knew.

Tadashi, however, seemed to understand what he was getting at. “Yeah. Aunt Cass is like a second mom to us. She’s not perfect and she knows it - you remember how she went off when we got arrested and started blaming herself for not knowing anything about parenting? - but I think she’s amazing.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We gotta remember, though, she took us in after Mom and Dad died. She wasn’t going out looking to have kids. They’re entirely different situations.”

Hiro hesitated. “How come? Either way, she has mouths to feed and watch over. If she didn’t want kids so badly, why would she take us? Why not Grandma or Grandpa Rudolph or Hamada? Why not our distant relatives? Why her?”

“I mean,” Tadashi curled his lips, “she loves us. I remember, when we were younger, before they died, we used to visit the café a lot. She adored us. Our distant family is, well, distant, and doesn’t know us as well she does. Grandma and Grandpa Rudolph live in Florida, all the way across the country, and Grandma and Grandpa Hamada were older. They couldn’t really handle a ten and three year old twenty-four seven. Besides, they died six years ago, so if they had taken us, we would have been back to square one with nobody. I think she loved us more than she loved not having kids? But again, she only raised us because Mom and Dad couldn’t anymore. She wasn’t looking for kids.”

Hiro brushed a lock of hair behind his ear. “I guess. Is there more entries?”

Tadashi flipped the page. “Yeah.”

_My head is spinning. My heart is all over the place. I feel like he should be here with me, in a house that doesn’t even have a crib, instead of the adorable nursery his parents set up._

_My baby boy is beautiful. Ken took a picture and this is the only one I’m keeping as a mother._

_He was so sweet. He didn’t cry once. He got a little cranky towards the end, but Danielle had a bottle prepared. Obviously, I wasn’t going to breastfeed him._

_I know this is the right thing. I know it. Only twenty-eight days until the revocation period ends, and I’m determined to make it through to the end._

_Except the minute I came home and got in bed, I burst into tears. I want my baby. It’s everything I can do not to text Danielle to - to what? Send me pictures? Tell me how he is? Ask for him back? I’d rather wait a few days, heal and jump straight to work in the café before I see him again. I think either way I’ll cry again, but some distance might help keep me from demanding him back. Or maybe I should wait until the revocation period end to? God, my head._

_This is the right thing. I have to remind myself it’s for the best. Danielle and Ken will take better care of him than I ever could. He’ll know me as his aunt instead of his mom, and it’s BETTER THAT WAY._

_I DO NOT WANT TO BE A MOM!_

_I love him. I’m doing this because I love him, and I love myself. It’s only hard because it’s right._

_Danielle is his mother now. Not me. NEVER me. I have to remember that._

Hiro’s eyes widened. He scrambled to snatch the notebook, flinging through the pages to find more entries.

There weren’t any. The entire rest of the notebook was blank. There was _nothing_ else.

“Unbelievable,” Tadashi breathed, and Hiro had never heard him so out of breath.

“She gave the baby to Mom and Dad,” Hiro reiterated the revelation washing over him like a wave. “One of us is adopted. One of us is Aunt Cass’ son! But which one of us?”

Tadashi was practically stone. “It - It couldn’t be me, could it? There’s no mention of me in the journal, that I’ll be a big brother to my cousin, or I’m getting a little brother. It’s like I don’t exist yet.”

Hiro froze. Despite his earlier question, the reality dawned on him; he and Tadashi weren’t brothers. Adoptive brothers, yes, but not biological brothers. Biologically, _they_ were cousins. There was no mystery third boy. One of them was Aunt Cass’ son. One of them wasn’t the biological child of the parents they thought they were. One of them had been adopted by their parents, and they never knew.

“No wonder it was a secret,” Hiro muttered.

Tadashi furrowed his brow. “I’m trying to remember when you were born. You were seven when I was - I mean, _I_ was seven when you were born. I don’t remember too much about Mom being pregnant. I know we have a picture of her with Dad somewhere and she’s big as a beach ball, but I don’t remember who she’s supposed to be pregnant with in that picture, and I don’t remember if she was that big or not when I was seven. I remember when you were a newborn, but I don’t - I don’t remember much about _when_ you were born or came home.”

All the cogs clicked together in Hiro’s head. He grasped at Tadashi’s sleeve. “No way! _I’m_ the baby in the picture! It’s the only explanation!”

Tadashi gawked down at him, bewildered. “What!? Hiro, I was just throwing words out there. I don’t - I mean, it’s possible, but I think it’s me in the picture.”

“No, it isn’t!” Hiro argued loudly, throwing his arms up. “Think about it, Tadashi! There’s so much evidence!”

Tadashi narrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

Hiro sat back, half in shock. “Okay. Okay. Let’s go over this one step at a time. So, first of all, you look exactly like Dad. Uncle Ken?”

Tadashi shuddered. “Don’t call him that. He raised us both as his sons, don’t call him ‘Uncle Ken.’ Ugh!”

“Whatever.” Hiro didn’t remember him anyway. “You look like dad. Okay, you’re not a younger clone, but you _look_ like him. What do I have from Dad? I’m half Japanese, I have black hair, and brown eyes. I’m not a clone of Mom or - Aunt Cass either, but how much did I really get from Dad? My hair, my eye color, obviously the Japanese traits. But if you didn’t know I was supposed to be his son, would you guess I was his son?”

Tadashi’s face hardened, but his expression was also troubled. “You inherited some stuff from Dad, Hiro.”

“Like what?”

“You...You have his thick eyebrows.”

Hiro gave him a flat stare. “And you have his ridiculous height, broad shoulders, his long nose, and long jaw. And that’s on top of the black hair, his eyes, and the fact you’re Japanese - oh, and _your_ thick eyebrows. My biological dad was probably Japanese, black haired, brown eyed, and has thick eyebrows, too, but I bet he looks nothing like Dad.”

Tadashi shook his head wildly. “That’s pure speculation. Genetics are random. Don’t forget, you have Grandma Mariko’s genes, too, and she was petite and rounder-faced like Mom and Aunt Cass.”

“Fine,” Hiro folded his arms, “then let’s move on to next set of _speculation_. Mom and Dad were married when these were written. You said yourself you were born about a year after they got married. Aunt Cass would have had to have had you sometime close to before or around their first anniversary. That means she got pregnant with you sometime within the first three months of their marriage. Is your birthday in the same ballpark as their anniversary? I don’t know when their anniversary is, tell me.”

His older brother (cousin? He didn’t think he could call him cousin) went beet red. “I - I actually don’t know when their anniversary is. We haven’t exactly celebrated it in the last ten or eleven years. Besides, that doesn’t mean anything. I was born about a year later, but that doesn’t mean almost exactly a year! I could have been born a year and five months later for all we know. People round.”

“Whatever, then. Anyway, they were married. They were in a relationship. They were as far as _married,_ big brother! Mom and Aunt Cass resemble each other, so I can get passing one’s kid off as the other’s, but Dad? You’re basically implying Dad cheated on Mom with her own sister.”

Tadashi’s eyes set aflame. “I am not! Dad and Aunt Cass wouldn’t do that!”

Hiro tilted his head. “I don’t know. Stranger family drama has happened to people, and couples have stayed together after much worse. I mean, I get how this theory could work. Aunt Cass’ traits could be passed off as Mom’s, and everything that’s Dad’s is still Dad’s, and you’d grow up with your dad _as_ your dad! But you’re right, I don’t think they’d hurt Mom like that either.”

“I could have a - “ Tadashi swallowed, “biological father who resembles Dad. You know what they say, everyone has a twin in the world. People have been arrested for crimes total strangers committed because even their _DNA_ matched! Aunt Cass could have had, I guess, a crush on Dad. She calls him a winner in here! She could have slept with someone who looked like him.”

Hiro snorted. “Like who? How likely is it she’d find someone - ” He halted. “Unless it was another Hamada family member. Dad’s an only child, but he takes as much after Grandpa Ryoichi as you do Dad. Oh my god, you’d be my cousin and my half-uncle! You’d be Dad’s nephew and half-brother! You’d be Mom’s nephew and half-brother-in-law! Oh my god! Is Aunt Cass into older me- ?!”

Tadashi’s hand clamped down on Hiro’s mouth so hard, the skin around his lips stung. “Stop. Talking. You’re grossing me out and Grandpa wouldn’t do that to Grandma!”

Hiro waited until he removed his hand to speak. “Then it has to be me! Face it, unless Aunt Cass did Grandpa, it’s slim chances she found Dad’s non-related twin. I have barely anything from Dad and take more after Mom. Or, in reality, I take after my somebody biological father and Aunt Cass, my biological mom. It’s the only explanation!”

“So why aren’t I mentioned in the notebook, genius?” Tadashi snapped. “Why didn’t she mention their seven year old kid that they already had?”

“Does she need to?” Hiro countered. “Okay, we know whoever Mom _did_ get pregnant with, she swelled up like a beach ball. Aunt Cass’ body might have reacted to pregnancy differently, but probably didn’t stay flat as a board. Do you remember her getting fat at all when I was on the way?”

Tadashi glowered. He did not respond, though.

“I bet she did.”

“Honestly, I don’t remember.”

“Come on!”

“I don’t!” he cried. “I don’t remember how big Mom _or_ Aunt Cass were, and if I thought Mom was pregnant, I was likely paying more attention to her than Aunt Cass! So if I don’t remember her, how do you expect me to remember our aunt!?”

Hiro shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “It’s totally me. I can’t believe after three years, she had me back. I was so young, she might as well have kept me in the first place! Not that she could have known.”

Tadashi refused to believe it. “Maybe we’re both wrong. Maybe Mom and Dad took the baby in when they were pregnant with me or I was little, only to realize taking care of us both at the same time wasn’t going to work. They could have arranged some other couple to adopt him, couldn’t they?”

Hiro raised a doubtful eyebrow. “If the adoption was through, I don’t think it can work like that.”

“Unless Aunt Cass took the baby back before the revocation period ended and arranged for another couple to adopt our cousin instead.”

Hiro sneered. “Why do you not want me to be to Aunt Cass’ kid so bad? All the evidence points to me!”

“Because you don’t know that!” Tadashi yelled. “Neither of us know. You sound so confident, but you can’t be certain!”

Hiro pressed his lips together in a thin line. “I guess the only thing to do is ask Aunt Cass.”

Tadashi did a double take. “No. We’re not supposed to know she was ever pregnant in the first place.”

“So we’ll just fight about it until we die,” Hiro nodded. “Great plan.”

Tadashi scowled. “It’s not like it matters. Mom and Dad are our mom and dad. We’re brothers no matter what. Aunt Cass is our aunt, and whoever she slept with sure didn’t have anything to do with us growing up.”

“Unless Grandpa’s your dad.”

“Would you shut up about that!?” Tadashi rose to his feet, fists clenched. “We should be cleaning. We should have never opened that notebook. It was an invasion of privacy and - ”

“And you can be a good little boy and apologize to Aunt Cass for invading her privacy,” Hiro snipped, “while _I ask her if she’s my mom.”_

“MOM is your mom!” Tadashi shouted. “She raised you!”

“I was raised by Aunt Cass almost four times as long!”

Tadashi looked wounded. “Mom wanted you,” his voice was tight. “Aunt Cass didn’t!”

Hiro tightened his fingers against the fabric of his pants. The air suddenly thickened around them, so thick it could be cut with a knife. Hiro wasn’t upset by Tadashi’s words, though; he knew Tadashi was attached to their parents’ memory, and he knew Aunt Cass loved him, both from the notebook entries and all the years of love she had showered both of them with. It was the immediate, immense guilt painted across Tadashi’s face that worried him.

“I’m sorry,” Tadashi’s voice quivered. “I didn’t mean that. Not like that.”

“I know,” Hiro didn’t mean for his voice to be so fragile. “I’m not mad.”

“Aunt Cass loves us,” Tadashi went on, almost to himself. “Whoever she gave birth to, she loves us both.”

“I know.”

“We’re both basically her kids now. She said so.”

Hiro nodded. “Yeah.”

Tadashi swallowed hard. “She said so in the journal, too. She gave one of us away so everyone would be happy and cared for.”

“I believe her.”

“It was a hard decision for her, even if it’s what she wanted from the start.”

“Exactly.”

“She’s called us both her babies. She loves us to death.”

Hiro slowly perked his head up. Although he was confident it was himself in the picture, Tadashi didn’t seem so sure. After so many years with their parents and so many years attached to their memories, Hiro wondered if the possibility Aunt Cass was _Tadashi’s_ biological mom wasn’t reconciling well with how he already viewed their family structure.

“Mom and Dad are both our mom and dad,” Tadashi continued. “Aunt Cass is our aunt. That doesn’t change, regardless of our exact blood ties or there lack of.”

Hiro slowly stood, extending his arms out part way. “You need a hug, big brother?”

Tadashi stood still as stone. Half the guilt on his face washed away under the weight of - Hiro would say _misery._

He was upset, no matter what he said.

Hiro suddenly considered himself lucky he didn’t remember their parents. He didn’t want to feel a quarter of what his older brother must be.

He walked forward, wrapping his arms around Tadashi’s torso and nudging his cheek against the chest of his shirt. Tadashi hesitated, but soon returned the hug tightly.

“You’re my big brother, Tadashi,” Hiro said. _“Niisan._ I honestly can’t think of you as a cousin, Tada-nii.”

They didn’t refer to each other with Japanese terminology, like _ever,_ except for a few occasions when they were younger and learning Japanese, but Hiro hoped the emphasis on their brotherhood helped.

Tadashi raised a heavy hand to Hiro’s hair. “Me either, little brother,” he choked out.

Hiro was about to give in, promise he wouldn’t ask Aunt Cass about the picture and notebook if that would make Tadashi feel better - except then, the basement door opened.

“How’s the cleaning going?” Aunt Cass chirped, bounding down the stairs with a tray of two smoothies in her hands. “Are you boys making good prog...ress…” she came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs, eyes locked on the picture and pink notebook on the floor.

Hiro dislodged himself from Tadashi’s arms.

The tray tipped in Aunt Cass’ grasp, but she quickly steadied it. She opened her mouth and closed it, her gaze sliding to the boys.

Hiro glanced at Tadashi. To his surprise, Tadashi looked on the edge of tears.

He didn’t understand why. Okay, Aunt Cass knew they knew now, but the situation wasn’t that bad. They were still the family they always were. Weren’t they?

“You read the journal, didn’t you?” Aunt Cass tone was void of emotion.

“Sorry,” Tadashi rasped. “We were curious.”

Aunt Cass glanced between him and Hiro before locking her eyes on his older brother. “Tadashi, please don’t cry. This changes nothing.”

“I know,” his throat sounded tight. “I don’t - I don’t blame you or anything. I understand. I - I don’t know why I’m choking up like this. You’re our aunt and Mom and Dad are our Mom and Dad no matter what.”

Aunt Cass paused. “Did I write down which one of you is mine?”

“Nooo,” Hiro drew out the word, uncomfortable.

Aunt Cass considered his answer silently for a moment. “Do you want to know?”

Hiro glanced up at Tadashi, who remained stone and on the edge of tears. He truly was confident it was himself in the picture, not his older brother, and he was fine with that. As Aunt Cass said, this changed nothing - didn’t it? Tadashi, though, didn’t appear to want to know. Hiro was fine with that. He could live without explicit confirmation. He didn’t think Tadashi could live with explicit confirmation.

Before he could speak for both of them, to say, ‘no,’ Tadashi spoke up. “Yes.”

Hiro balked at him.

Aunt Cass turned her eye on him. “Do you want to go upstairs, Hiro? You don’t have to hear this if you don’t want to.”

Hiro blinked rapidly. “I - No, I want to hear the full story. Uh, it’s me, isn’t it? I’m the one you gave to Mom and Dad, right?”

Aunt Cass bit her lip. She bent to set the tray down on the floor next to the bottom step. When she straightened back up, she replied, “No, sweetheart. I gave Tadashi to them.”

Tadashi heaved a loud breath. Hiro watched the tears roll down his cheeks, startled. Why was this bothering him so much?

Aunt Cass reached a hand out and took half a step forward, as if she was going to hug him, only to recoil. Maybe she thought Tadashi didn’t want to hug her. That was Hiro’s guess. She instead clasped her fingers together in front of her waist.

“You have to understand,” she began solemnly, “I love you both. You’re both my boys. I’d throw myself in front of a tram if it could save either of your lives. Tadashi, I don’t love you any less because I gave you away, and Hiro, I don’t love you any less because you didn’t come from me. I love you both the same.”

Tadashi stifled what could have been a sob. “Y-Yeah…”

Aunt Cass stiffened, raising her chin. “I’ve loved you the same amount since the day you were born, Tadashi. With all of my heart. That’s never changed.”

He nodded stiffly, the tears draining like a stream.

Hiro shook his head, perplexed. “How? Tadashi looks like Dad and I don’t.”

Aunt Cass rolled her shoulders. “You take after Danielle, Hiro. Maybe your Grandma Hamada, too. As for Tadashi...lucky coincidence, I guess. I was set up on a blind date with a tall, dark hair and eyed, Japanese man with a large nose and long face. He didn’t look like Ken in the least, not to me anyway, but Tadashi got all the traits that could easily pass for Ken’s. Lucky coincidence. Most of them weren’t obvious at the birth, but as Tadashi got older, we were all thrown off by how much he resembled Ken. It - wasn’t really _Ken_ he resembled, though. Not technically.”

“Did he ever know about me?” Tadashi inquired, throat thick. “Did he want me?”

Her shoulders slumped. “I went on one date with him. Neither of us wanted a second date. We didn’t keep in touch. When I decided to give birth to you, I decided not to involve him; after one date, I couldn’t possibly judge if he’d make a good father, assuming he wanted you, and I didn’t believe a few months were enough time to get a good judge of his character. Compare that to your dad, who I’d known for years.”

“Why did they take me? Why did you give me to your sister?” Tadashi demanded. “Most people wouldn’t do that.”

Aunt Cass wiped a lock of her hair back. “It was...mutually beneficial. By the time I found out I was pregnant, your parents had started trying to have their first baby. They didn’t have fertility issues - when they tried for Hiro, they got him almost instantly - but a few months were going by, and Danielle was getting anxious. Not only that, but, childbirth is terrifying. It’s stupidly painful. On one hand, your mom was getting worked up because she wasn’t getting pregnant, and on the other, she was having second thoughts because childbirth frightened her. As my pregnancy advanced, I was getting attached to you, and realized - while I didn’t want to raise you - I wanted to be in your life. I wanted you in mine. It was mutually beneficial.”

They got a kid and Aunt Cass got to to see her kid without being a parent. Hiro was baffled by the pragmatism of it all.

“And they just agreed?” Tadashi sniffled.

“They thought about for a while. Danielle was...unnerved when I first explained the idea. Ken didn’t seem bought either. We all talked, though, me with them, them together in private, and eventually, heh, the rest is history,” she said, rubbing thumbs under each other. “They loved you, Tadashi. Please don’t doubt that. You weren’t replacing the child they didn’t have, and you weren’t second in their eyes when Hiro was born. They didn’t call you their son to your face and think ‘nephew’ behind your back. You were their baby boy. The day you were born, it was obvious how they fell in love at first sight.”

Hiro glanced up at him.

Tadashi’s face was pained. “What about you?” he asked quietly. “Did you call me your nephew to my face and think ‘son’ behind my back?”

A wave of emotions washed over Aunt Cass. “Both, I guess,” she admitted. “I’ve always loved you the same, with all of my heart, and it came to the point I felt like I’d die if you were permanently out of my life - but I never wanted to be your mom.”

Hiro felt someone’s heart break. He didn’t know whose it was, his own, Aunt Cass, or Tadashi’s, but he felt someone’s shatter in the atmosphere.

Tadashi’s jaw tightened. “My name - did you pick it out for me, or did you never - like the notebook said?”

Hiro noticed Aunt Cass’ knuckles go white from the grip her fingers had on each other.

“‘Tadashi’ was the name your parents had picked out for their first born son,” she explained. “If you had been a girl, you would have been named what they had picked out for their first girl, the same name Hiro would have had if he’d been a girl. I couldn’t let myself even think of names I liked. I would have gotten too attached.”

Silence filled the room. Nothing about Tadashi’s stance changed. Aunt Cass had the saddest look on her face Hiro had seen in a long time. He bit his cheek.

Eventually, Aunt Cass broke the silence. “You do have an old birth certificate,” she added. “It lists your name as Tadashi Rudolph. I’m listed as the mother and the father’s line is blank. That certificate is sealed now. You wouldn’t get access to it if you asked the local court house. I don’t know if they’d let me see it today if I asked. When I voluntarily signed away my parental rights to your parents, you were issued a new birth certificate immediately. That’s your current birth certificate all your schools have received, which names you Tadashi Hamada, son of Ken and Danielle Hamada. Adoption is funny like that.”

Tadashi flexed his cheeks. “So it was your idea I’d never be told, correct? Or did you ever have plans to tell me? When Mom and Dad were alive, or after they died? If you signed away your rights to me, how did you get custody of me when they died? Why didn’t I go somewhere else while Hiro stayed with you?”

The thought of being separated from Tadashi like that all those years ago gave Hiro a heart attack. He didn’t want to live a life that didn’t have his brother in it.

“If you ever came down with a medical condition that could have possibly come from my date’s family, we would have told you,” Aunt Cass said. “That was the only situation we agreed on where we’d tell you, barring if _you_ had children who had medical conditions that could have come from his side. Whatever the case, it would have prompted a horrible hunt for him, so we’d have to tell you. Otherwise, we had it in our wills that in the event all three of us were dead, you would be told just in case. As for your custody, I’m legally recognized as your maternal aunt. Your parents also had it in their wills that if they died, you two would come live with me - which I supported one hundred percent. When they died, I became your legal guardian. I didn’t try to take back my rights as your biological mother. States prefer to have someone take care of orphaned children for them, and since my rights weren’t forcibly taken on the grounds I’m not fit to care for _any_ child…”

Tadashi grimaced. “So only then.”

“Only then.”

“The notebook - journal - ” Tadashi took a shakey breath. “The picture was in a box with a bunch of old junk. Down here. You said it was the only picture you were keeping as a mom. Why are they here? It’s not like I go prowling through your room, hunting for deep, dark secrets.”

Aunt Cass sighed. “You boys came to live with me. The whole first week, you slept in my bed with me, remember? You couldn’t bear to be alone after the accident. I didn’t want to risk you finding the picture in my dresser somehow. I threw the notebook down here years ago because I wasn’t interested in writing it anymore. I was barely interested in writing it while I was pregnant; I only did when I felt too overwhelmed by everything. So I put the picture with the notebook, in a box in the basement. I must have not realized which one I was filling up with junk over the years. I’d never put it in the trash, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Hiro looked between his aunt and older brother.

Aunt Cass still looked so sad. So, utterly, sorry.

Tadashi’s grimace fell.

“It all makes sense,” he visibly held back another sob. “I can’t figure out why this bothers me. I don’t hate you. I’m don’t doubt you and Mom and Dad love me. I get it. So why am I reacting like this?”

Aunt Cass shook her head. “I can’t answer that, my sweet boy.”

Hiro shifted his attention to her. “Can I ask a couple questions?”

She did a double take, as if suddenly reminded he was there. “Of course, Hiro.”

“Why didn’t you want to be a mom?” he asked. “If you wanted Tadashi so much, if you had to have him in your life, and you’d - you’d jump in front of a tram for him, why wouldn’t you just be his mom from the start? You are good at it, we both have _always_ thought of you as a second mom! In fact, you’re the only mom I know because I can’t remember ours!”

She smiled thinly. “I’m glad to hear it, sweetie. It’s good I didn’t completely mess up. The fact is, Hiro, some people simply don’t want to be parents. It’s difficult to explain; you’re so young and my hunch is, deep down, you feel like you’ve been abandoned and lied to, Tadashi. I’m glad you boys see me in such a...positive light, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go out tomorrow and get pregnant again or try to adopt so I can raise my own child, _as_ my child.”

That broke the dam; Tadashi finally sobbed. He sobbed loud, squeezing his eyes shut and bowing his head.

Hiro lurched back, baffled.

Aunt Cass stepped forward, past Hiro, and gently pulled Tadashi into her embrace. His arms hung limp at his sides, but he didn’t reject her. He hung his head over her shoulder, crying without restraint.

Hiro felt awkward. He was the odd one out, he realized.

Tadashi was his brother, yet he was also his cousin. He was the only one without an additional connection to Aunt Cass, and what that exactly meant, his head didn’t know but his heart was wracking itself over. Mom and Dad were Tadashi’s parents, too, but there was a cruel sense of irony over the fact that hadn’t been there before, that he remembered and had lost them, mourned them, all the while he had another secret parent watching over him, caring for him after their deaths, where Hiro didn’t. Aunt Cass claimed to love them both equally, but Hiro was only her nephew, whereas Tadashi had been the baby son she beat herself over giving away, despite however much she had wanted to give him away.

Maybe this revelation would change things. Maybe it did matter. Maybe Tadashi being upset wasn’t so incomprehensible anymore.

Or perhaps only one of those were true, that being the third one. Nothing would change and none it mattered at the end of the day, and they’d come out of this as close and normal of a family unit they had been before. Aunt Cass certainly seemed to think so.

Maybe. Perhaps. Hiro wasn’t sure. The only thing he knew was that his eyes were welling with tears, too, and Aunt Cass was pulling him by the sleeve to her and Tadashi’s sides, and his head was crammed between his shoulder and her cheek.

Why Tadashi was upset wasn’t so incomprehensible anymore.

It truly wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Cass' voice actress is named Maya Rudolph, so Rudolph is the surname I headcanon for Hiro and Tadashi's maternal family, including Cass. Officially, her last name hasn't been revealed.
> 
> \- I don't think I've posted a fic where I give the Hamada parents names yet. I've personally given them the names Danielle and Ken. This applies in all my fics. Officially, we don't know their real names.
> 
> \- While we've never officially seen the Hamada parents (or Hamada grandparents), there are pictures that can be found in the movie that are theorized to be them. In the original cut of the movie, there's a black and white picture of a young boy and presumably his parents dressed in traditional Japanese clothing by the stairs up to the boys' room. In the Korean dub of the movie, this picture is replaced with an a man who looks like Tadashi and a pregnant woman who looks like Cass. These are assumed to be the Hamada parents, and who I picture when I write them. (There's also a picture of Tadashi as a young boy with two old people in the scene where Cass stress eats, one of whom resembles the man assumed to be their dad. I assume these are their paternal grandparents.)
> 
> \- I generally headcanon Aunt Cass as someone who enjoys being single (aside from maybe the occasional date) and doesn't have romance high on her priority list. I have since I first saw the movie. I also headcanon that while she adores children, especially her nephews, and obviously does her best with them, she never planned on having kids of her own and didn't really want any.
> 
> This was a fun prompt to write! Obviously, Aunt Cass is nothing more than their aunt in canon and I wouldn't want it any other way, but it was so much fun to figure out who should be her secret son and why. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
